15 October 2018

Adventures In Sound Healing & Meditation

My therapist suggested I try meditation as a means of managing my anxiety -- another tool in the "mental health toolbox" she's helping me assemble. I didn't think reading a book on meditation would help me much and the YouTube videos I tried to watch just gave me the fidgets, so I decided to do the easy thing and download a bunch of free apps.

Of the three I downloaded -- Calm, Deep Meditation, and Headspace -- I've found Headspace most beneficial. The ten day starter program is free when you download the app and is then $12.99/mo or $94.99/year. After doing eight days of the starter, I bought a year's subscription with zero qualms. Headspace is a very straightforward app with lots of cute, engaging illustrations. It feels friendly and I use it every day.

I especially like that I can adjust the length of every meditation session so I can slot a little in wherever it will fit in my day. Most days, I do ten or fifteen minutes on my lunch break followed by forty five minutes before sleep. To be fair, I seldom make it through my bedtime meditation without falling asleep. My therapist insists this is okay as the active intention is there.

Because I have socialization issues, I've recently (gently) pushed myself to try a few "real world" sound healing and meditation workshops. Part of me has been very cynical about the whole experience -- sure, the vibrations from the crystal singing bowls are going to do some magic woo with my chakras. But there is something extremely calming and, dare I say, healing in lying quietly in a dimly lit room with a bunch of strangers, just being. So I'm going to do more sound healing and meditation workshops. As I told my therapist, even if I don't think I'm approaching the practice the "right" way or getting the "right" things from it, it does help dial down the noise in my head.

My APRN and I are still working on the right pharmacological treatment -- I've tried several different medications of varying doses and my anxiety is better, but not still not good. If I was a 9 out of 10 at my first appointment, I'm down to a 6 now. We all want me to get to 0, so we keep plugging along.