Stuff and Nonsense: If You Could Be Mine


If You Could Be Mine

Nasrin pulled my hair when I told her I didn't want to play with her dolls. I wanted to play football with the neighborhood boys. Even though sometimes they wouldn't let me because I was a girl, they couldn't deny my speed or the fact that I scored a goal on the biggest kid in the yard. Nasrin pulled my hair and said, "Sahar, you will play with me because you belong to me. Only me." That was when I fell in love with her.

Motherless Sahar has been in love with her best friend, Nasrin, since forever. But now they're almost adults and their lives will be taking different paths -- Nasrin is getting married and Sahar will (probably) be going on to university. While Sahar does not want to lose Nasrin to some man (especially not a nice guy like Reza who will give Nasrin everything Sahar can never), she does not appreciate Nasrin's suggestion that they keep carrying on under her husband-to-be's nose. Sahar wants to love Nasrin openly and such a thing cannot happen for two lesbians in Iran, where homosexuality is punishable by death.

But. There might be a solution. A loophole. Sahar will become a man and then she can marry Nasrin and live the life she was meant to live. But such decisions are not easy. And some sacrifices come at too great a cost.

What is it with YA novels making me cry? For such a slim little book, If You Could Be Mine packs quite an emotional wallop with a surprising depth of story and character. All of the characters -- even the secondary characters seldom on the page -- seem thoroughly human and I cared about them all, wanting them all to find better futures for themselves.

Nasrin is, perhaps, not as fully fleshed as Sahar, but then we do not see the story through her eyes so it is hard to know what she feels as she makes certain choices or decisions. I spend much of the novel wanting to tell Nasrin off, but Sahar's pigheadedness was also deeply frustrating. It was very much like watching two friends you deeply care about do something incredibly dumb.

Anyway, If You Could Be Mine was well worth the time and I look forward to reading more books by Farizan.

If You Could Be Mine by Sara Farizan (Algonquin, 2013)

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